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My collar-bones at 172 lbs

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Love the fact that they are getting more and more defined with every pound I drop. In my opinion it’ really one of the most sexy parts of the women body :)

 

-Cee

Todays weight: 9/12-11

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I’m so so so happy today! I broke 172 :D

Todays weight: 171.9 lbs :D

I’m really excited about my weight loss if you can’t tell already :P Kind of just jumping around here. Only 6.6 more pounds to lose before France, and until I’m on unexplored territory weight-wise. SO EXCITED!!!!!

I love the feeling of getting closer to my goal every day. some day, very soon I’ll be at 128 lbs :) Only 43.9 lbs left to go, 45 pounds lost aready. I’m over half way there. Can’t give up now.

Stay strong girls!

-Cee <3

Todays weight: 9/10-11

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Today my weight is unchanged from yesterday. Not really a surprise, because I went over my calorielimit, as well as my time-limit. We had friends over, so I had some sushi, some bread, and some alcohol, aswell as a tiny bit of candy. Not a big deal. It was still very nice to just go a bit over my limit to speed up my metabolism again.

But today I’m back to being a good girl, and I’ve had a grapefruit and a kiwi for breakfast, and now I’m about to have steamed veggies for dinner along with some cured meat and a banana for dessert. And that will be it, not to go over my time limit or my calorie limit.

So I’m pretty much just staying in tonight. I’m exhausted after a long week at school, so I do not intend on doing anything at all today. Tomorrow I have to study for a test, but today I’m allowing myself to be lazy.

Stay strong girls!

-Cee <3

Todays weight: 9/3-11

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So yesterday I partied hard, as I mentioned I would. I was celebrating my b-day. I was determined to just drink, and have ONE slice of a brownie. Well, that didn’t really work out. I started out with having a drink, and as my alcohol-level rose, my ability to judge went straight to the bottom. So pretty much i had 2 slices of pizza, 1 cupcake and 2 slices of brownie, and A LOT to drink. By the end I couldn’t really stand on my feet, and I was really sick. I sobered up a bit after that though. The moral of the story: don’t play drinking games on an empty stomach. It goes straight to your head, and you end up bingeing. Looking back now I wish I’d had more alcohol actually, because at least I would have purged after, and gotten rid of some of the food. Oh well. I had a good time at least with my best friends! We had so much fun.

Todays weight: 174.6 lbs 

I actually dropped 0.2 lbs over night. Strangely enough. Maybe it’s not all a epic fail anyways. So today I’m really limiting my calories. I’ve had a banana for breakfast (or it probably counts as lunch) so that equals 100 calories and some negative calorie fruits. And for dinner I’ll have one burrito. I’ve calculated all the ingredients(they’re home made), and it’s 300 calories. So If this goes well I’ll only have consumed 400 calories today.

But now I have to go to prepare for a dinner party-thing which I can’t say that I’m looking forward to since I’m a bit hungover. Anyways, had a great time.

-Cee

Todays weight: 9/2-11

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Todays weight: 174.8 lbs

I’ve pretty much just had fruit lately, and especially negative calorie fruit. And I think it has payed off quite a lot. Anyways, I’m down to 174.8 lbs! :D only 9.8 more pounds to lose before France :D

So today I have this party thing going on, and I’m not quite sure how I’ll handle it. I believe I will just have negative calorie fruits all day, a glass og milk, and a cracker. And then I’ll have the smallest ever serving of brownies (2oo calories per serving) at the party. And there will be alcohol, so I think that I’ll just fill up on fruits first, and go for the liqueur. I drink so rarely that it doesn’t really matter.

Anyways, really looking forward to the party, because I haven’t been hanging out with my friends for like ages. Been so busy with classes and homework that my social life has been nonexistent.

Stay strong girls!

-Cee <3

And some thinspo:

Some thinspo for the day

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Just checking in, shock, mealplan

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I’m pretty much just checking in. Had an urge to write, so that’s what I did (or am doing). So today I have to say has been an eventful day. First of all, I discovered that something I thought had 150 calories, turned out to have 300. And that’s pretty much a disaster, because I’ve been consuming 150 more calories than I’ve thought I had. Pretty much there is like a nutrition-facts thing on the back, and it says how many calories there are in 100 g, and “in a serving”. I of course assumed that the serving, was the whole “snack pack”, because it contains so little that I thought that the serving, was the whole thing. And you are in fact “expected” to have the whole thing. So I was a bit bored over lunch today (I eat alone, because I hate it if other people than my close friends see me eat) so I really looked carefully at the packaging. BAM the pack contains 70 g (!!!!!!) and not 30 g which is given to be the serving size.

I got really upset over that, because I knew that I would have had more than my daily calorie limit after dinner. (I have to eat at home. Not much, but just a bit so my parents don’t notice anything). So after classes I went out and got negative calorie foods, and my 123 calorie snack-packs that I have carefully examined to be the given serving size. So for negative calorie foods I got cantaloupe, grapefruits and apples. I got some bananas too, but they are 100 calories per banana.

So I set up a meal plan for tomorrow, which I think will work out great:

Breakfast:

1 grapefruit negative calorie food

1 glass of milk 75 calories

1 Wasa whole wheat cracker 35 calories

Lunch:

1 Banana 100 calories

0.5 liters of diet coke 0 calories

Dinner:

1 Apple negative calorie food

Some cantaloupe negative calorie food

1 glass of milk 75 calories

 

Pretty much that will add up to 285 calories, which is very good. Actually it’s excellent.

 

So now I have to move on to my huge stack of homework.

Stay strong girls!

-Cee <3

Todays weight: 8/30-11

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Todays weight: 177,2

Hell yeah, I lost weight :D To be precise: 1.1 lbs :D

It feels really great, and I’m so happy. Really encourages me to keep working hard, and not give up. For extra encouragement I’m wearing jeans a size too small today, if I was to thing about bingeing. Not that I am, because after my weight gain after the last one I know that it’s totally not worth it.

But I’ve got to run. Have to get ready before going to class.

Stay strong girls!

-Cee

Todays weight: 8/29-11

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Todays weight: 178,3

Not surprisingly at all I put on some weight in my binge. If I didn’t I’d think that hell froze over. Still, not really a big deal. I’m upset about the numbers, but I knew very well what I was getting myself into when going on a binge, and I had reasons to do it. So today I’m just going as usual I guess, with my calorie counting, and restricting. And I’m going to have lots and lots of water. I will lose a lot by tomorrow. I just have to.

But now I have to get going and get into my clothes and do my makeup and stuff, because I have class in 2 hours, and I need to get to campus too, and have some breakfast before that.

Stay strong girls!

-Cee <3

And some thinspo:

I’m back

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So I’ve had my not so lovely two day binge now when I went away for the weekend. Friday and Saturday was all about consuming anything I wanted. And damn did I have much of everything. But the good thing is is that every time I do something like that my body snaps completely. The first day I felt REALLY (and I mean REALLY REALLY) sick and just stuffed. And I had real bad diarrhea. I know, TMI. And the second day my intestines were just cramping together, giving me real pains in my stomach. And all together I was just disgusted by everything I had. Which kind of was my target.

So today I’m off my binge, and back on track. So far I haven’t had anything but a coffee, a sugar free redbull and 0.5 liters of carrot juice. I just haven’t been hungry today (because I’ve stuffed myself for 2 days), and I just really felt like a day without much food. I might have a 150 calorie pack of nuts, or some crackers later. But I don’t know. I just really feel like not having anything today except water, diet coke, green tea, and laxatives to kind of get the food out of my system. And yes, I know laxatives so not help in weight loss, but the food has already passed parts of my digestive system, so there is nothing wrong in helping it a bit on it’s way.

Stay strong girls, and I’m not looking forward to my weigh-in tomorrow morning to get to know how much I’ve gained. But I needed it to get my metabolism to kick back into high-level.

-Cee <3

Todays weight: 8/26-11

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Todays weight: 176.5 lbs

A total weight loss of 0.7 lbs since yesterday.

 

It’s actually going pretty good with weightloss, but as I’ve mentioned I’m going on a two day binge, starting today. So today and tomorrow I’ll consume anything I want. My body has started kicking into starvation mode, so that’s why I’m doing it. I’ve ben feeling really bad lately, especially in the mornings, and yesterday I barely made it up a flight of stairs, and I was really light headed. So what I’m doing is having lots of food for 2 days, and then I’m back on track. I just need my body to kind of get an “a-ha” experience, like that I’m eating again, so my metabolism can kick back in and do it’s job.

So I won’t be updating my weigh on Saturday and Sunday in order to stay on track (I’d be discouraged by the gain). On Sunday I’ll be back to my “normal eating habits”, so on monday you will be getting a weight update. I just hope that I don’t gain too much in the binge.

Stay strong girls

-Cee <3

Thinspo:

Thinspiration 8/19-11

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Random beautiful, skinny girls with thigh gaps and flat bellies. Some day soon I’ll be one of them.

Stay strong girls!

Love, Cee

Meal plan for tomorrow

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Omg, tomorrow is measuring day btw. So I’ll see if I’ve lost some around my thighs, biceps, calves, waist and hips. Anxious!

Anyways:

Breakfast:

Home-made mint tea 0 calories

Diet supplements (Magnesium, vitamin B, Chrome and multi vitamin) 0 calories

0.5 liter water 0 calories

 

Lunch:

1 small slice of brie 57 calories

Mint tea 0 calories

0.5 liter water 0 calories

 

Dinner:

1 tomato 22 calories

0.5 liters water o calories

 

Snack (whenever I feel like eating something through the day):

1 Wasa cracker 35 calories

Diet coke 0 calories

Mint tea 0 calories

 

Total: 114 calories

 

Kind of trying to shock my body after my bingeing. I really need to be at least down to 165 by the time I go to France, but if I’d be 155 it would be even better (duh :P). So this is not the time to give in, but the time to work for my goal. S likes skinny girls, and I want to fit into my thinspo-jeans really bad. They’re just so gorgeous!

Stay strong girls <3

Love, Cee <3

Boy talk

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Like, I have this eternal problem with guys. The ones I fall for, never fall for me, and the ones that I never take a second look at are the ones that fall for me. And I’m not the kind of girl who falls in love easily.

So there is this one special boy, or he’s rather a man actually. We went out on a date once, this spring (my first date ever). But we met mutual friends when we were out, and they crashed our date totally. Later we tried to have a second date, but we kept postponing it, to my distress. Finally I just texted him, and told him about how I feel about him. So he told me that I’m very nice, cute and funny, but he’s not over his ex(fiancée) and not ready too feel anything for anyone right now. (Their breakup was way beyond nasty). So we agreed to be friends, and we didn’t see or hear from each other for like 3 months.

In that time I had a really hard time, because it was really the first time I’d felt so strongly about a guy before. I like saw our whole future planned out. And it felt so natural. But I managed to pull myself back together, bit by bit. And after being abroad for 3 weeks I finally didn’t think about him all day long. Of course, that could not last long. This week he came by my workplace, and was like really happy to see me and everything, and was kind of asking if I was going to this festival-thing that he is going to next week.

First off I was so shaked up, and embarrassed to see him at all, that I hardly could keep my hands from shaking like crazy. Secondly, he looked as great as always, and he smiled so charming. And it was like nothing had happened. We talked for like 5-10 minutes I’d say, before he had to leave. As he left I realized that I’m right back at where I was 3 months ago. And it really brakes my heart.

I have kind of a feeling that he may be ready for something new now, but I’m not going to spend like $ 170 to go to a festival that doesn’t really interest me, to see him. I’d go, but I’d rather use the money on clothes and makeup when I go to a big city for shopping in two weeks. And I have no warranty that he would even hang out with me there. Even though, if he did, it would be a GREAT opportunity. But I don’t want him to think I’m this silly schoolgirl who runs around, having a huge crush on him. If it’s meant to be, it will be.

So my new thinspo quote-thing that I use when I feel like bingeing is: “S likes skinny girls”. Like, of course he does. I don’t think he’d have doubts about me if I was skinny, beautiful and popular. Funny and cute is not enough for me anymore. I need skinny, beautiful and stunning. I need S to love me. We are a perfect match, because we’re kind of opposite, with a lot of the same things going on. And I really think I love him.

So I’m going to use him as my thinspiration. That if I only get skinny enough he’ll want me.

 

Wow, this was a long post, but since this blog is highly personal already, why not put in boy-talk and stuff like that too :P

-Love, Cee

My first bones

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These babies suddenly popped out of nowhere after I started dieting again. Love them, and they keep me strong through reminding me of my goal.

Yes, this is me btw. I had to take the pic in black&white in order to show you the look of my beautiful collarbones better :)

Stay strong girls,

Love, Cee <3

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